Remembering My Mom

 

When I first started this blog, I wasn't sure about posting EVERYTHING. I mean, I would post about cartooning for sure. And then I posted about my garden. And sometimes more personal things. This is one of those times. Well, really, the most personal.

 

My Mom died at the age of 85 on May 26, 2022. By a fortunate quirk of fate, I had just been out there to visit the week before. The memorial for her was this past weekend. My sister, Penny, gave a speech, and then I spoke. Here's what I said:

Thank you for coming. Thank you, Penny, for arranging this.

I am Barbara's son, Mike.

Like all of you, I wish she was here.

Dad: It was very helpful to hear that you still have things that you'd like to tell your mom, our Gramma. I live in a different state and didn't get to see Mom very often, but we often talked on the phone. 

Several times a day I think of something I would like to tell Mom about. Things like this:

Just a week after she passed, I was driving in our town of Milton, NH and I saw an eagle pluck a very surprised little fish out of the lake and fly over the car.

We often talked about nature, birds, flowers, our garden...and I know she would have liked hearing about the bald eagle.

Speaking of hearing ...

Here are some expressions of Mom's I will miss hearing:

Michael! Don't egg on your sister! 

Don't get too close to the edge. We used to take camping vacations when Penny and I were young and we were lucky enough to visit lots of national parks and beautiful camping areas. But those camps came with peril: there was always a cliff edge or steep hill that one false step might send us toppling over. Luckily, Mom was always on watch and we're both here to tell the tale - but I still worry about getting too close to the edge.

I'll shoot you with my big fat knife. This expression originated from her mother, my Grandma Powell, and was used as a serious admonition to young Barbara. Try as Mom might though, she could not say it without cracking herself up, since it made no sense.

Junky lunch. Junky lunch was a quicky, no-cook lunch involving whatever cold cuts, veggies and potato chips were available, arranged artistically in the shape of a face. We loved it.

I learned a lot being raised by Mom. Here are two lessons I want to share:

When I was a little kid, I drew on the wall and got in trouble. Both of us, Mom and me, scrubbed the wall clean. She told me later that she realized the wall IS a very good place to draw: it's big and clean. So, Mom bought a roll of shelf paper and taped it to the floor so I could draw on it. Sometimes we would tape a very long piece of this white shelf paper in the breezeway and I would have a "drawing party" with my friends. Mom realized how important drawing was to me and she made it possible.

Later on, when I was in 4th grade, I had to learn my times tables. I told my mom I couldn't do it. She did not accept that. She went over and over the times tables with me. There was no escaping the times tables at my house when I was in the 4th grade. She would stick her head in my bedroom door: "Four times six!" "Oh, Mom! It's 24!" The next day, we would be in the grocery store:  "Six times eight!" and I would whine but eventually say "48."

I thought it was impossible. But with persistence, and Mom's constant grilling me the times tables, I learned it was NOT impossible. I could do things I didn't think I could.

Mom showed me how to see things in new ways. Not just possible, but with hard work, probable.

But for today, I identify with that little fish plucked out of the lake -- looking all around -- confused and bewildered because my world is suddenly different.

 

I love you Mom.

 

From the Dickens Funeral Home site:

Barbara F. Crow (nee Powell), 85, long time Bay Village resident, died May 26, 2022.  She was born December 19, 1936 in Hastings, MI.  Barbara retired as a computer field technician from NASA.  She was a member of John Knox Presbyterian Church, North Olmsted and was active within the Bay Village Senior Center.  She enjoyed bird watching, old movies and traveling with her husband, Walter.

 

Barbara is survived by her daughter, Penny (Steve Ouellette) Lynch of Elyria; son, Michael Dennis (Stacy) Lynch, Milton, NH; step children, Christy, Barb, Brian and Debbie; a sister, Judy Chilson; and 2 grandchildren.

 

She was preceded in death by her husband Walter in 2014 and parents, Charles and Virginia (nee Coleman) Powell.

 

A memorial service will be Saturday, August 13, 2022 at 11:00 am at John Knox Presbyterian Church, 25200 Lorain Road, North Olmsted 44070.  Burial will be in Lakewood Park Cemetery, Rocky River.

 

In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Doctors Without Borders.