PARDON ME , SIR, BUT IS MY EYE HURTING YOUR ELBOW? and Mort Drucker and Jack Gilford and ...

This is what comes of cleaning the bookshelves. I ran across this 1968 book, a fumetti-style oddity, with actor Jack Gilford, in photo cut-out form, walking through Mort Drucker drawings, when I was cleaning yesterday. It was published by Thirteen Productions, is "An Original Motion Picture Comedy" presented by Bob Booker and George Foster. They add:

"PARDON ME, SIR, BUT IS MY EYE HURTING YOUR ELBOW?" is an original motion picture script. It will be shot as a feature length film and will be distributed in major theaters throughout the world.

"PARDON ME, SIR, ..." in essence, is a comic examination of the hypocrisies, dishonesties, and ironies of America life as seen though the eyes of twelve of America's greatest young writers. "

Booker and Foster were the writing team behind the comedy record The First Family, and its follow up. The First Family was one of the best selling comedy records of the 1960s.

Here are just a couple of pages from PARDON ME. As far as I can tell, no movie was ever made.

You would get a couple of pages like this in between comedy scripts by some of the above-named writers -- many of whom went on to fame and/or fortune. I love those little details: the street lamp in the first panel, all the different shapes of the signs, that pointy wrought iron fence.

What's interesting about this is that it's Mort Drucker, drawing his heart out -- with very few caricatures at all, anywhere. You can really see his attention to detail.

I'm guessing that this may have been originally developed as a series of comedy skits -- maybe for television -- that were cobbled together in this form. Each writer wrote a short script, complete with dialogue, camera directions.

This book can be found for a few bucks at a lot of places, including Amazon. A must for a Drucker fan.

Anyone remember Gilford's "pea soup coming to a boil" routine? He was a funny and charming actor. I wish he had done it in the movie Cocoon, then we would all know it. I think he did it on The Cosby Show

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Chalk Talk by Guy Gilchrist, Frank McLaughlin and Mike Lynch

Above: a Nancy strip -- as if you didn't know! Nancy has been drawn by Brad & Guy Gilchrist since 1995.

Guy Gilchrist's Cartoonist's Academy in Simsbury, CT hosts an evening with cartoonists Guy Gilchrist, Frank McLaughlin and Mike Lynch beginning at 6om on Tuesday evening, July 25, 2006. There will be wine, cheese and hors d'oeuvres. Chris Sheehan will play blues guitar. There will also be a silent art auction to benefit Operation First Response.

Guy will appear today on the News At Noon on local ABC affiliate WTNH Channel 8 to talk about the event, as well as Operation First Resonse.



Above: How to Draw Those Bodacious Babes by Frank McLaughlin and Mike Gold

This will be a fun event, with the cartoonists holding forth for a 10-15 minute chalk talk to the guests about what it is they do. The nice thing is that it's going to be real low key, with a lot of milling around and chatting and snacking on some good food.



Above: a Harvard Busineess Review cartoon by Mike Lynch

Award winning cartoonist Guy Gilchrist, who as far as I know hasn't had a decent night's sleep since he's one of the busiest guys in the cartooning biz, has helmed comic strips including Jim Henson's The Muppets, Mudpie, Your Angels Speak, and currently draws Nancy with brother Brad. He also is the chief cook and bottle washer of his own Guy Gilchrist's Cartoonist's Academy.

Industry legend Frank McLaughlin has worked for pretty much every comic book company for over 42 years. He's a guy whose work I read when I was a kid, and I look forward to meeting him. Especially if he's gonna be drawing those bodacious babes. Hubba hubba!

Magazine cartoonist Mike Lynch, whose blog you are wasting your valuable time on right now, whose clients include The Wall Street Journal, the Harvard Business Review, Reader's Digest and other publications. He's chair of the National Cartoonists Society Long Island Chapter (the "Berndt Toast Gang").

From the press release:

Tickets are $10 per person (limit 2 per household) and the guest list is limited to 60. Pre-registration is required -- please RSVP by July 11, 2006 at (860) 651-4400.

Our Future World in 1999 According to 1966 Reader's Digest Book

Here's the Reader's Digest NEW Reading Skills Reader from 1966 with a spectacular future world painting by Fred Freeman (1906-1988). Looky them jet packs! Way cool!

Mr. Freeman was a veteran illustrator for many magazines and books. He may be best known for the 120 illustrations he drew for the book First Men to the Moon (1960), with text by Werner von Braun.

Below is a key to Fred Freeman's cover painting:

It's apparent that the oil companies did not have any input into this! And the lawyers would have a field day with moving sidewalks, rocket belts, etc. Man oh man, I am too cynical now. I remember thinking, when I was a kid in Iowa City, that this was going to be the way it would be! Heck, it's in a BOOK. It's gotta be true if it's in BOOK.

OK, you saw that there are references to some page numbers. Below is referenced When You Grow Up story, which is fun to read

And, if you don't look out, you may build some skills, mate!

Click here for LARGE version.

I like the idea that people get to work later in the day so they can sleep in like great sloths and they don't have to work long hours. Ha ha ha!

Click here for LARGE version.

Food is like candy! More jet packs! Clothes made of glass!

Click here for LARGE version.

In the future, we will all wear what looks like velour jumpsuits with piping ala Lost in Space. And where's my personal robot? Can I have Andrea, from What Are Little Girls Made Of? Can I? Huh?

A labor-saving android from a 1966 episode of Star Trek. She's Shatnerlicious!

Rejection is the Key to Success

Mark Anderson had the idea first. At his Flickr account, he's posted some rejection slips and they're interesting to see. Rejection is a big part of the business and everyone gets them. Heck, I got one before 9am yesterday via e-mail!



There is a variety of rejection slips. Above is one that's most typical. "There is nothing here that we can use." Simple, direct.

I love that last one: "We are overstocked." Does that mean that there is a huge pile and they're tired of cartoons and didn't even look at the cartoon submission before stuffing it back in your SASE?

I dunno! And I still can't remember why I sent cartoons to the UAW.



This is from a magazine that no longer is in the market for cartoons. See how the rejection doesn't hurt as much when they color in a smiley face? You don't? Hmm. Me neither!



Here's one from The Spectator, a UK weekly. It's a postcard. The handwritten "V. Sorry!" was a nice gesture. It's whacky to shorten the four letter word to one letter, and then spell out the five letter word. Now that I think of it "Very S!" wouldn't owrk. Very WHAT? Very Silly, Very Stupid, Very Sexy, etc.

I had to call a colleague of mine who sells to The Spectator to ask whose illegible signature was. It was Michael Heath, the cartoon editor. Duh.


"I obviously know what style the Post is going for." But not enough to sell! Arrgh!
And now that I look at it, I realize I've never drawn a fishing cartoon. Well, THERE'S your problem, Lynch!

"... We just didn't laugh hard enough." Damned with faint praise by The Funny Times! At least they send you a Flash Rosenberg cartoon.

So, there you have it. Some rejection slips. Does it depress you? Well, I don't take any of this to heart.
Here's my story of a crummy high school summer job to cheer you up:

When I was a kid I worked in one of those phone sale boiler rooms. We were selling Cleveland Press subscriptions. I hated it. Who wants to be one of these people who calls strangers at home to sell stuff? Who wants to be a telemarketer? It was the only job I could find and I needed the money.

There was one guy who sold a lot more than anyone else. I couldn't figure it out. He got lists of phone numbers like we did and dialed like we did -- but he sold a lot! And he was just a year older than I was. So, I asked him how he did it. He was a real nice guy (not always a plus in the telemarketing industry -- making his success more baffling to me) and he told me his theory. He said the reason he aold more was because he called a lot more people in an hour. If someone said no, he said "OK" and went to the next phone number. He logged almost twice as many calls as anyone else.

His theory was that you would get a certain number of sales out of 100 phone calls, and the idea was to not waste time with the people who said "no." "For every person who says no, you are that much closer to the sale." What a good attitude.

The Cleveland Press went out of business, but I bet this guy went on to big things.

Resolved: You gotta get the rejections to get the sales!

I Always Wanted to be an Artist!

Yeah, this is how it begins. Above is from a vintage ad in the back of a comic book courtesy of Scott Shaw!'s amazing site titled Oddball Comics. The funny thing about the ad is how nicely dressed artists are!

Y'know, they really should post one of those "results not typical" warnings on this. And I don't think I know a professional cartoonist that wears a tie and a white shirt. Oh, maybe they might wear such a thing IRONICALLY -- mocking "The Man" -- but who needs to dress up? I mean, the cool thing about cartooning is that you're working at home and it's all "come as you are!" Or, come as you wake up. since, for me, the office is steps from where I snooze.

Here, before your beady eyes, is the awful truth:

Need I point out that the only reason that the cat comes over for pats is because he's a sweet old rescued cat from the junk heaps of Red Hook, and he likes -- how to put it? -- funk!!! And it don't get much better when a cartoonist gets washed up to take the subway into the city:

Above is an artist's conception of what I haul in my bag. There's always junk in there. I always have too many pens and too many things to write on. No, I don't need to carry a tire gauge, but I always have it. I don't know why.

So, there you have the truth: no sweater vest, no tie, no pressed Oxford cloth shirt! And if you ever see me dressed up, I'm still cool, man! I'm not part of the establishment! I'm doing it ironically, darn it! Really!

Vintage Israeli Posters at Great Neck Arts Center

An off-topic for the blog, but fun to look at. Above are some of the posters at the Great Neck Arts Center. I liked the colors and took some photos. Some vibrant designs here.

This is one of those galleries that manages to be both large and intimate at the same time. Even though these are hung one on top of the other, "salon style," it doesn't seem crowded.

You walk along a long, ample hallway. Art on either side. Down at the end of the hall is the piano ....

At the end of the hall: here's the piano and, off to the side, several doors leading to classrooms, a lecture hall, a dance rehearsal hall. GNAC always has a lot of classes going on. This is all off of the main street in Great Neck, Long Island, New York.

Turning around by the piano, you can see the long hall.

OK, I'll be posting more about a certain event I'm helping with at GNAC in future. Stay tuned.

Mike Lynch Cartoon in Wall Street Journal Collection at Baker Library

If you're in Boston, at the Baker Library Lobby of the Harvard Business School, then stop in for a display of Wall Street Journal's "Pepper ... and Salt" cartoon panel. The panel began June 6, 1950. It was the idea of Charles Preston to add a gag cartoon to the stodgy little business paper. The editors greeted his idea with pretty much zero interest. After being roundly rejected for quite some time, Mr. Preston persisted, and the cartoon saw the light of day. More here.

In the 56 years of this feature, I've been fortunate to appear in the last couple of years of "P&S." When I first got a sale, I remember the little note, "We'd like this for P&S." I looked at it and looked at it and it took me 10 minutes to figure out what P&S stood for! Lesson: Know your market!

Here's a cartoon of mine that is one of the five cartoons that represent the 2000 decade in the show:

OK, here's the whacky thing. That was the original version of the cartoon. Charles (yeah, he still edits the feature) wanted a redraw for the small space that "P&S appears in. I wrote about redrawing this cartoon on March 16, 2006.

I don't know why they're displaying a cartoon that did not appear in that form -- but who am I to argue with the WSJ and Harvard?

Oh, the cartoons that are showcased are COPIES, not originals. I don't know why. So, seriously, if you're in the neighborhood and if you want to see copies of cartoons, then there are some in the Baker Library. And if you go, take a photo and send it to me.

The New York Times "Practical Guide to Practically Everything" Will Not Pay for Content

Here's a for instance. Let's say I'm going to do a book. You're all invited to contribute. The book will be a big book of cartoons. It's gonna be real big. Over 800 pages. Excited? And it's going out on a major publishing label. There will be press and reviews and great distribution. Still excited? Hurry and send me your stuff.

As one of the contributors, you can tell you friends that you may or may not be in the book. I really don't have time to let you know what's going to be in this book. But I will send you a mass e-mail:

"Due to the sheer number of entries, we cannot write each one of you and tell you exactly what your [contribution] is. Secondly, with very few exceptions, there is no payment."

Uh, yeah -- sounds like a pretty bad deal. Not the kinda deal you can pay rent on. And not the kinda deal I would want for my friends and colleagues!

The NY Times new 812 page Practical Guide to Practically Everything, with few exceptions (a few writers are getting an honorarium, but the majority are not seeing a dime), is making money off of free content.

... the extensive use of Times material from so many writers has drawn at least some grumblings among staffers. In addition to not being paid for their work to be re-used, some are miffed that they are not even being told what material from their past is included. Although each item, from single-paragraphs to lengthy article reprints, is fully credited, none of the items are indexed by author.

Now, I don't care that a representative of the Newspaper Guild of New York says, in the above quoted Editor & Publisher article, that the NYT is not legally obligated to pay -- but it's not the ethical thing to do. Gee whiz, what would Randy Cohen say?

A Visit to Cartoonist Stephanie Piro's Studio

We spent the weekend at Stephanie Piro's and John Nolan's house in Farmington, New Hampshire. It's in "the boonies," as newspaper editor husband John has written. It sure is a nice house, and you can see how green it is in NH. John has extensive gardens around the place.

Upon arrival, Spacey (one of their 3 cats) does this squirmy dance of joy in the driveway.

Some of John's flowers greet you on the deck. There is also a large vegetable garden

Stephanie is one of King Features' SIX CHIX. This photo is from the launch of the strip, showing each female cartoonist wearing a shirt with the day of the week that their work appears in the paper.

In the hallway there are some framed original strips.

Up the stairs are originals from Stephanie's other syndicated panel, FAIR GAME.

Cats of distinction always dine upon Stephanie's placemats. Go to her site for purchase details! We use them too! (Er, I mean our cats do.)

Above are the tools that she uses to create her comics.

And here she is, working on a SIX CHIX strip.

Board in lap, with her favorite pen. She let me use it once. But I had to ask a couple times.

You can see that Stephanie does not pencil!

Well, it's time to go, as John reminds me with a squirt of the hose!

I'm wet, but Stephanie takes it in stride. Better go before John attacks again!

Star Trek Enhanced: The Doomsday Machine -- Side by Side

Here's the first 15 minutes or so of an old Star Trek episode, and, next to it, a version with new CGI effects. Yeah, I blogged about this before, but now you can see both versions side by side. If this is not exciting, then, well, you are not a fan!

Above: A CGI Enterprise.

And this is the Constellation, its nacelles and hull damaged by (What else?) The Doomsday Machine!

Daren Dochterman is the guy who did this, and he did a good job. Paramount is, so far, not interested in adding new efx to the old show.

Dan Goodsell's Mister Toast Blog

Dan Goodsell's Mister Toast Blog featuring Peanuts and Sugar Sweetened Goodies and Hanna Barbera and Jay Ward Studios! Here goes:

Author and Blogger and creator of "The World of Mr. Toast" Dan Goodsell showcases some Peanuts items from his collection. They're a lot of fun to look at. e has bread wrappers and other stuff that the Peanuts gang lent their likenesses to. I think it's a little weird to collect plastic things that had food in them. Don't get me wrong, they're fun to look at. But don't they get all kinda funky as the years go by? But I'm glad Mr. Goodsell has this blog. And he's the guy that cowrote Krazy Kids Food. There's lots more fun stuff here.

Years ago I met and got drunk with the guy who drew those kids with the tongues sticking out on the ice cream cone packages. I'm thinking that that's his work on the cover. He was not in the best of health, and a little bitter. I'll have to see if I can find his name. He actually mailed me a signed ice cream cone package which is ... somewhere in the apt. It was a long time ago. Over 10 years and by fluke of chance we were both vacationing on the Prince Edward Island waterfront. This was way before I became a full-time cartoonist and way before I thought I ever would/could.

I digress ...

Pretty much every American kid consumed some Dolly Madison cakes with Lucy or Linus on them, or had a toy or a puzzle or a comic book or a video of Charlie Brown. And we all pretty much know what he looks like, y'know? Even in 2006, kids will still try to draw the Peanuts gang!

OK, here's a close up of that Fort Worth Press newspaper carrier bag. He looks a little off. I mean, he just looks like someone else drew him. And there's no "Schulz" signature anywhere. I thought that was pretty much the norm.

OK, here's ... uh ... Linus. I think. It's from an ad to read the comics in the (San Diego?) Blade Tribune. This one looks like it was sketched in pen and ink by someone who knows how to use pen and ink. But poor Linus looks like he's in a funhouse mirror. No signature. I am thinking that Schulz and the syndicate would turn a blind eye to unauthorized in-house ads promoting comics like this, particularly in the early years of the strip.

And don't miss a fun entry in Dan's blog about cartoon characters and cereal. (Yeah, the kid causes a mishap to befall Bullwinkle.) Grand stuff!

By the way, I was a Quake man. My sister was into stupid ol' Quisp. So what if they tasted the same?!