"I look forward to growing old with you. It's the maintenance I hate."
I actually said this while jogging along Pacific Street in Brooklyn. Every once in a while I say something that becomes a cartoon. The fact I remembered it, drew it up and sent it out is a testament to my concentration. Usually when I say something funny, it disappears into the ether. I forget it. The cartoon was published in the Wall Street Journal.
"Breaking up is hard to do. So how 'bout I just send an e-mail?"
"I won't know how I really feel about him til I hack into his Netflix queue."
"This is all very romantic, but I can't see my fork."
"I accept. But there may be some monitoring for quality assurance."
"If you get half the closet for shoes, then I get a drawer for my old rock concert t-shirts."
"Do you know I haven't eaten a pie tip since before we were married?"
"I converted all our old love letters to text messages."
"Let's quit this exhausting dating routine and get married all ready."
"I'd be glad to accept your invitation to come in cutie -- if your kids have grown up and left."
"Why do all my inner demons look like you?"
"I'm emotional. It's just that yours scare mine into hiding."
"We're in the tub together. But not like it used to be."
"Remember when we were young and fancy free -- back before everything had to have coasters under it?"
"No, you're not interrupting a damn thing. We're just having our usual argument about who came first."